On December, 23rd

 

On December, 23rd,
I rolled into a ball in my bed
Instead of rejoicing and being merry, I thought about all these memories I have written about, and all these past Christmases, and felt sad.
They will be no more. And The Girls and I will be alone during the Christmas that comes. I felt suddenly tired as if a great weight had been falling on my shoulders. I was a mousefield lost in a great world of light and pleasures that were not mine anymore.
And so, after having taken care of The Girls, I went back to my bed, took some sleeping pills, rolled myself into a tight ball, and went to sleep.
Good night, friends
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9 thoughts on “On December, 23rd

  1. Times past That will never more be. Times coming That are meant for others than you and me. But we are alive now Today we are here. Remember the past But live the moment without fear. Even if in your world Your time seems at an end, Here on your blog You will always have a friend 🙂
    Perhaps you need a long winter sleep, but when the holidays are done, when those pesky memories stop teasing you, write creatively and create new memories in your mind. Share these worlds you create on the page with us all. We are waiting to hear!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Trent. There is still the last window to open and I must not stop so close to the end, which is not an end but a beginning if I believe in Chrismas.
      Thank you for your “encouragements” (as we would say in French) and for your kindness.
      I have to go on for The Girls and my life is not at an end. I cannot dwell in the past.
      This is a kind of new life with new friends and the blessing of knowing how to write, even if there must be progress to make :)! So, onwards!
      Many thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Camille, I do hope that you’ll find happiness. Diving into our past often results in being saddened, longing for those happy times. Probably writing about all these moments will have helped you digest things, even though you might not feel it quite yet. I do wish you a very nice Christmas with the girls!
    As it is the 24th, I am also sending you many birthday wishes! Joyeux Anniversaire!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Solveig. Thank you for inviting me to your Advent Calendar.Thank you for this Calendar: you have introduced friends to other friends. It has been a wonderful moment to help us wait for Christmas. I do hope this is no end but a beginning. And with my “merci”, I wish you and all your family “un Joyeux Noël” with lots of presents to your little one! Merci, merci beaucoup – et merci pour vos voeux d’anniversaire ! 🙂 Heureux Noël

      Like

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